Maybe you have heard of the Christian practice of spiritual direction? It has been in existence for quite some time and has found both renewal and expansion in recent years. While the roots of this practice are biblical, modeled in the mentorship and guidance we see in relationships like those of Jethro and Moses, or Eli and Samuel, the formation of the practice really originates in monasticism. During the days of the Desert Fathers and Mothers it was common for Christian pilgrims to come to them for direction. And the direction they were seeking was spiritual in nature.
In their book The Practice of Spiritual Direction (Barry & Conolly,1986) the authors offer this definition: “Spiritual direction is help given by one Christian to another which enables that person to pay attention to God’s personal communication to him or her, to respond to this personally communicating God, to grow in intimacy with this God, and to live out the consequences of the relationship.”
Spiritual direction involves both the director and directee or pilgrim. It centers on the spiritual director’s ability to create space for their directee to explore what they may already know but have found hard to access. In this sense, the work is relational as well as prayerful and reflective in nature. It’s work that moves at its own pace of discovery, not to be rushed, yet purposeful and guided.
I have had two occasions in which to benefit from a spiritual direction relationship. One was associated with a Sabbatical. I built into my plan and budget a sequence of spiritual direction sessions upon the sabbatical’s end to unpack and reflect upon the experience and what lay ahead. I met with my spiritual director face to face about every four to six weeks for about an hour, during which time she would gently help guide me through whatever question, event or exploration I felt was brimming in my spiritual life. It was a rich time of discovery and exploration, centered in listening and paying attention to God’s communication. The insightful questions and observation my director raised were poignant ways of drawing my attention to my relationship with the Lord.
My second chapter of spiritual direction was facilitated through an online video encounter with my director, again about every four to six weeks. At this time I was trying to discern some big vocational decisions, and I made use of the relationship and direction session to explore those life altering questions. My director was good at helping me see opportunity where I had only before seen obstacles. He walked with me through my uncertainty and confusion in a way that was guiding and helpful, at times direct, but always respectful as well as good humored.
I appreciated each of these formal opportunities at spiritual direction. Looking back on them, I realized that there had been other times and relationships in my life when I had unknowingly been engaged in spiritual direction. In fact, I had played a part in both sides of such relationships – director and directee. As I matured as a pastor I think I began to settle much more comfortably into the role of director with those who wanted or needed that kind of guidance. I realized that one did not always have to provide an answer but could be of help in creating that space in which it was both safe and engaging to search for the answer from within one’s relationship with God.
Looking even further back, I can say that among my very first spiritual directors I would list my parents. Both my mother and dad were Christian people who endeavored to guide my siblings and I in the Christ following way of living. As the youngest of their children, my own maturation and spiritual curiosity was briming when they were a bit older as parents. They had been around the block a few times with older siblings and learned some of the ins and outs of parenting that we do with experience. They were also in a different place in their own relationship, and (I think) in their relationship with God.
Our direction “sessions”, if you were to call them that, were always informal and never labeled as such. They developed naturally in the course of being together as parent and child. Each of them had a different approach to how they guided my development in faith. My mother was the more ordered and structured. She set an example of Christian living in her own modeling. I knew that reading her Bible, serving her Church, using her gifts were important. I watched her take notes on sermons during worship, write her thoughts out in a journal, and openly discuss her response to faith in our conversations. I felt at ease bringing my questions to her. She was approachable and open. Even as I was sorting out my own faith direction, and eventually my vocational call, she gave me the space to do that without imposing her own opinion or personal choice for me.
In contrast, my “direction sessions” with Dad were much more spontaneous and happened “on the go”. It was as we were spending time together, working on a project or chore at home, or traveling on vacation that “teaching/direction” moments presented themselves. A man of few words, you tended to listen when Dad spoke. You knew that his words were thoughtful.
I’m quite sure he never dreamt his youngest son would go into the ministry, but he supported that time of searching and questioning in my life that eventually led to that decision. He created space in his own way and allowed for my formation. This continued beyond my time at home. In visits and time together he offered observations from his window into my work, not in a direct way, but in a “have you thought about this” kind of way. He was usually right and insightful. I was/am grateful.
Now that both of my parents are gone, I find that I still at time miss their voice and presence. I ask, “what would Dad do or say?” “What would mother think?” And if I enter the space that question creates, and sit there with it long enough, I am usually rewarded by some thought or insight that affirms my choice of next steps. This is communicating with God, through prayer and reflection, with the voices of “saints who’ve gone before” echoing in the canyons and open spaces of spiritual direction. It’s the continuing influence of those first spiritual directors who would never have seen themselves as occupying that role or title. But they did. And for that I say, “thanks be to God”. Amen.
© Daniel M. Cash 2025
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